I'm a crappy friend...

I can be a crappy friend. That’s not to insinuate that I’ve been a crappy friend to you. And I’m not asking for a “No you’re not” compliment. It’s the truth, I’ve been a crappy friend and I’ve lost some really good people because of it.

I think my problem is this. I grew in Texas, moved to Ohio, and then back to Texas. I stayed in both places long enough to make close friends, friends that I care about, and then I up and moved on all of them. That part wouldn’t be so bad if I had just stayed in touch. I would promise to call, to write, and I wouldn’t. And because of that, people who cared, people who legitimately cared about me, are out of my life. I think you can only say “I’m sorry” so many times.

I’m forgetful. And I know what most people say “Only about things you don’t really care about.” But that’s not true in my case. I forget about everything. If I wasn’t currently eating breakfast right now, I would forget what I was eating and you all know I love food! If it wasn’t for a set Monday-Friday schedule, I’d forget that I’d have to work. YES, when I worked in restaurants, I forgot all the time. I forget my keys all the time, I don’t know where I put them down at… my badge for work… seriously, if it’s possible to have gotten lost… I’ve lost it.

And in this case, I’ve lost a couple of close friends; two guys in particular, who through a matter of coincidence, I met. They went to the “other” highs school, but we still made time to hang out with each other. No matter who were dating, or where life would bring us, there was a group of us who I can say were some of my favorite friends in High School.. They are both GREAT guys who deserve nothing but the best. When I was down they would lift me up. They were friends that I was lucky to have.

And as I drift through myspace world… I see that they’re doing good. That their life’s are full of wonderful people who love them. And though my life is more than blessed with a wonderful man who I love to death and many great friends throughout my life… a part of me still misses the swimming pool and peanut butter toast days… the camping… getting me drunk for my first time… the friendship. So if you’re reading this, though I doubt you will, I miss you. I know I suck at keeping up with friendships, especially long distance… but just know, you were some of the good ones, if not great.